Love Yourself More Than Anyone Else
As I sit here in joyful solitude on the couch, legs crossed up on the coffee table and my laptop placed accordingly on my lap, I can’t help but reflect on a time in my life that I sat on the couch in solitude that was unbearable. The sense of loneliness and unworthiness seemed to be an endless battle between my heart and my mind. It was one of the hardest times of my life and it felt that there was no light along the horizon. One day I decided to reminisce along the written pages of old journals tucked in the back of the bookshelf, I came across a single page in a small notebook, that read the following:
- Portia, you’re an amazing, beautiful, determined, loving woman
- Everything you want is at your fingertips
- Believe in yourself and you will live a triumphant life
- Do everything with love
- Yes, you will succeed and make a difference in this world
It took months of deep, heartwrenching, real soul searching for me to become stronger than I’ve ever been and to understand just how truly amazing I am. Yet, this simple moment in time, that brought me to tears and grasped at my heart, was the stepping stone to me becoming the Portia that I want to be. Once I began to learn about myself and shed my skin to have my soul exposed, it was only then that I was able to experience a love for myself that I hadn’t come across yet. The smile that used to be smeared across that young wild spirited girl was beaming brighter than before and I felt alive. Having those daily affirmations for myself allowed my mind and heart to work together in making a difference instead of feeling like there was a battle between good and evil. You know what I’m talking about when you’re heart is broken and feeling all of the feels and you’re mind is telling you that you deserve better and you’re strong. I AM AMAZING!
To continue with my daily affirmations, I thought I would share with you some of the things I love about myself, in hopes to inspire and provide light to anyone who maybe is in a dark place. For as the ever so wise Dumbledore said
Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light
I’m Motivated and I Will Make a Mark
Some would call it defiance but I always moved to my own beat, achieving things in my own way and challenging the status quo. I always refer to that pigtail brown haired girl, running through the wildflowers in the fields of New Hampshire, wandering deeper and deeper, exploring the world as it was all my own playground. The rise of the darkness or my great-grandmother yelling for me to come back couldn’t stop me, for I was motivated to see what the world had to offer. After dropping out of college and struggling to find my own, I returned to not only graduate with one but TWO degrees! If you tell me I won’t do something or show any bit of doubt, WATCH OUT for I will come and you will hear me loud and clear. I know that my dreams will happen for they are appearing in front of my every day and you know why? It’s because I want it!
I’m Silly, Goofy and All The Above
“Oh, you’re so silly, babe.” James probably says this to me at least three times a day. Whether I’m making faces at him, dancing around the house or just be my young wild crazy spirit. It’s very easy to let the challenges or changes in our daily lives to throw us off and we can experience being down or hard on ourselves as I had mentioned above. I choose how to react to the world around and being silly, free and wild brings me happiness to my soul and is the light to my dark days. There are people who live in this world for others. They live on how they believe others should want them to live and how to act, that we can easily lose ourselves because we hide it deep inside. Being silly and lighthearted is who I am, it’s what makes me laugh till my stomach hurts, it reminds me of my great-grandmother who was the craziest person I know and it just feels right. Being true to myself and showing who I am is what makes this journey true and my own.
My Blue Eyes and Brown Hair
Please read the disclaimer: this is in no way to be superficial or vane, it is strictly because of my love for the color blue. Okay, okay, yes blue is my favorite color but in all honesty, I love that I have blue eyes because two of my favorite people who had blue eyes were……………can you guess? You’re thinking my mom and dad right, that would be the obvious guess. However you would be wrong, these two individuals were my great-grandmother and my papa. Each morning as I look in the mirror, I’m reminded of these beloved individuals and see a piece of them embedded in me. Now the love of my brown hair doesn’t come from an uncle or a cousin, for everyone in my family is a brunette for the most part. I love the uniqueness and rareness of having bright blue eyes and chocolate brown hair. The fitting of this is perfect to who I am and the story I carry in this world.
What do you love most about yourself? What would be your daily affirmation? I would love to know more about you, the beautiful souls on this journey with me and have you share what you love/admire about yourself the most. Remember that you’re amazing, strong, beautiful, fun, loving and most importantly you are you!